


Dread

by Time_Lordess



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 07:04:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2612672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Time_Lordess/pseuds/Time_Lordess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dread: Anticipate with great apprehension or fear.</p>
<p>Morgana sleeps in fear as she awaits what will always come to her in the dark. A man, a repeat of the terrible events she condemned him to. She sees it every night, she loved that day, watching him burn as a sorcerer, and a sorcerer he was, she knows that much now. But as she makes endless attempts on the throne, her demon is remembered. Merlin is remembered. Her dread is growing</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - Dread

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! My first Merlin fanfiction! It's been ages since I last watched Merlin, when the show ended, but still, I loved that show and I wanted to make a AU of what could have been between the High Priestess and the Last Dragonlord! It will have Arwen, their to cute of a couple to be ignored. I feel like we need more Mergana here so I'm making a contribution!Updates will be whenever I have time and you should ever expect me to update quickly of all people!
> 
> The Prologue will be set 3 months after the incidents of Season 3 Episode 1 and will show Morgana having a dream about some stuff that happened in the AU version of the episode. She has these dreams every night, with or without the sleeping bracelet. I hope the summary vaguely gives you a idea about this fanfiction, but feel free to PM me if you don't understand what the hell is going on! 
> 
> On with the chapter!

** Prologue; Dread **

  _Pray that the water will drown out the din_  
But as the water fills my mouth  
It couldn't wash the echoes out  
But as the water fills my mouth  
It couldn't wash the echoes out

I swallow the sound and it swallows me whole  
Till there's nothing left inside my soul  
As empty as that beating drum  
But the song has just begun

_Florence + The Machine "Drumming Song"_

* * *

**_Dread: To fear greatly; Be in extreme apprehension of something or someone._ **

* * *

She had fallen asleep, hadn't she?

She should never have fallen asleep, because this is what happened, what always happened, and she was a fool for thinking that today of all days was going to change in her favour.

It was coming.

The nightmare was coming.

* * *

_She was at the lake again. Her back to the trees and beautiful mountains. Her eyes taking in the shimmering blue of the lake in front of her. Opposite her where the lake met the ground once again stood the proud tall tower of Avalon. It was truly magnificent, unlike the cold mountains behind her, the tower seemed to radiate of warmth and kindness._

_She looked at the lake just in time to see the reflection of a white raven. It swooped down to the water, its claws cut into the water sending ripples of water to either sides of the shore. Its wings were stretched and the underside of the wing revealed some grey and black. Its eyes were mud brown and the raven gave a loud shriek, like a battle cry. Its claws lifted and it flew to a rose bush and plucked a white rose from its twigs._

_The raven perched on Morgana's shoulder and Morgana turned to look at it, she already knew what she would see but her actions never seemed to be different. So as her head swivelled, she once again saw "Morgause" written elegantly on the ravens shoulder. She watched it pluck the petals of the rose, till it looked satisfactory and the bird flew off Morgana's shoulder and dropped the rose into the lake._

_As the roses journey to the other side of the lake progressed, Morgana saw the white rose turn black. She looked up to the other side of the lake and saw a lion now standing in wait of the rose. A shadow loomed over them and Morgana gasped as she saw a dragon approaching the lion. The dragon bellowed a magnificent roar before landing by the lions side, its head bowed to the lion. It's king._

_The rose had made its journey to the lions side of the lake, now pitch black and cold, its thorns were blood red and its stem a dark green. The lion picked it up and Morgana anxiously looked to the dragon who shared her look. The dragon was scared._

_The lion pawed at the rose, prodding it before he abruptly stopped and looked behind him to the dragon. The dragon nervously bowed its head and Morgana could see a tattoo of a black rose on the lion's shoulder. The lion roared indignantly to the dragon. The dragon nodded timidly and the dragon let out another furious roar and launched itself at the dragon's head, its teeth bared._

_Morgana had watched this so many times but still couldn't help but gasp at the violent display of such a small animal attacking a dragon of such power and might. The dragon didn't fight back. It seemed to be accepting, no willing to let the lion go about its business. But the dragon's eyes pierced through Morgana accusingly. And accuse her, he should, but he had also wronged her as well is what she told herself. It was of little comfort._

_She hears the roars of agony escaping the dragons mouth and watches horrified, as the blood from the wound on the dragons head, trickles into the lake and onto the lions shoulder making the tattoo of the rose on the lions shoulder red. The lake turns a crimson colour and the white raven squawks in victory. The dragon seems to slump a bit and the lion once again lunges at the dragon, its teeth aiming for the heart. As the teeth make contact with the skin that protects the heart, more scarlet blood trickles out, she hears the roar of intense pain as the dragon cries out. It seems to be crying, its body racking with sobs and Morgana can only imagine the agony and the torture it must be going though._

_As the dragon slumps to the floor it changes into the bloodied body of Merlin, his head is bashed and covered with blood, his eyes are the richest blue letting out a torrent of tears and his hands cover his chest and heart. The bloodied rag of clothing he wears not absorbing most of the blood. Beside her she sees Morgause smirking victoriously in the place of the raven. She sees Uther panting angrily over the body of Merlin, the rose, a image on his cloak._

* * *

She's screaming. The sadness of Merlin's death, the anger at Uther for killing him, and the confusion that her and Morgause had caused his death. Gwen cannot comfort her now, she is at her home sleeping soundly on her bed and the guards are used to her screaming, believing she is suffering from trauma. Her midnight hair is wet with sweat and looks as wild as her green eyes do. Her nightgown are cloaked in the sticky substance and the beads of sweat trickle down her face. She pants for breath, the cold air rushing down her throat, calming her down. As her scream subsides she feels her hand is a bit sticky.

She has blood on her hands, if it wasn't for the dream she wouldn't have given it much thought but she does have blood on her hands, Merlin's. It was from the scab on her hand from fencing with Arthur and she appears to have been itching it. But she can't help consider the double meaning to it.

There is a ringing in her head and she realises with a horror that its the scream of the dragon as he died. As Merlin died.

It won't stop.

She's throwing things left and right to drown out the noise of the roar, gowns, candles, chairs and plates, hearing them smash loudly on the ground but not drowning out the noise. Morgana fills the tub and sinks her head in it to drown it out but still, the roar finds its way to her. She groans in frustration.

She hates the night.

She hates that she fears the night.

She feels only one emotion for the darkness and sleep.

Dread.


	2. Chapter One - Betraying Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all started the day he poisoned her, and a year after, Morgana still feels Merlin's betrayal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this fiction on fanfiction.net, and I just realised I had updated three more chapters there and that I should rectify this. So as a belated Christmas gift, and a happy New Years gift, I give you those three chapters.

**Chapter One - Betraying Her**

_Every betrayal begins with trust... and the betrayal that hurts the most is when you trusted them with your life_.

**Betrayal: to deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery or disloyalty**  

"He's not going to survive out there." Morgana stated worriedly.

"I know" Merlin breathed heavily as he placed the wooden plank across the throne room doors. Arthur and the Knights of Idirsholas could be heard outside, clashing swords.

"We've got to do something."

"I know" Merlin knew exactly what they had to do, it didn't mean it wasn't going to hurt, for him or Morgana.

* * *

 

 Together, Merlin and Morgana dragged Uther behind the throne and got the servant clothes out of Merlin's bag. They left Uther and sat down in front of the throne.

"Here" Merlin gave Morgana some cloth, "You tear this up, I'll make some rope" Morgana nodded and began tearing some grey cloth apart.

Merlin turned around, his back to her as she kept tearing. Sighing sadly and his breath ragged from exhaustion, he opened the Hemlock bottle and poured it into the water skin. He turned back to face her with a look of cold determination. She looked up to him and his face melted into one of normality.

"Here, have some water" He held out the water skin between them.

"I'm not thirsty." retorted Morgana after giving the water skin a look.

Merlin persisted "If we get out of here, you may not get another chance to drink."

"If we get out of here." She reminded him.

Merlin went to check on Arthur, giving Morgana the water skin, she placed it back on the floor. As he came back, he picked up the leather bottle and turned his back to her, faking to drink from it.

He again turned around to give her the water. "Here"

"I'm fine"

"No, you have some before I finish it." he persevered.

Morgana's green eyes considered him and gave him a smile and nodded. "Thank you."

She took a gulp from the bottle and returned the water back to him to continue tearing the cloth. He turned his back to her once again, not wanting to see what would inevitably happen next. Morgana coughed, waving a hand over her throat. The panic raised after she felt the burning in her throat and she placed a hand to her neck. Her gasping became louder as she fought to get more oxygen in her lungs. Her eyes raised to look at Merlin who still had his back to her, there was a question in her emerald eyes.

He wiped a tear from his face and turned to finally face her judgement. She looked at him, her terror and panic clear and still that questioning look. Merlin couldn't bring himself to say anything to her so merely nodded curtly. Her eyes changed to shock, he had betrayed her. Merlin slowly crouched, his arms out to comfort her but Morgana, fuelled with anger and shock slapped his hand away from her. He persevered still, and locked his hands onto her arms as her gasps got louder. She couldn't find the energy to back away from Merlin and slumped to the ground. Merlin rotated her so her eyes wouldn't stare daggers at him, accusing him of his sin, and pressed her head into his chest and he wrapped an arm around her body which she clung onto as she breathed sharply. Tears fell off of Merlin's eyes at the unfairness of what he done and Morgana wept too.

The doors to the throne room were swept of their hinges, smoke entering the room as it fell to the floor. Morgause ran in, her eyes instantly homed in on Morgana, worried and scared for her dear sister. She grabbed Morgana's now limp body from Merlin. He gasped from the release of pressure on his body and backed away from Morgause, his eyes looking at Morgana's lifeless body.

"What's he done to you?" Morgause cradled Morgana, wiping hair away from her face.

"I had to." Merlin explained, the disgust of what he had done, clear on his face.

"You poisoned her." Morgause said with dismay.

Merlin couldn't escape her accusing eyes and blinked. He stood up with a newfound courage. "You. Gave me no choice."

"Tell me what you used and I can save her." Morgause begged

"First, you stop the attack." He demanded.

Morgause, clearly not used to being spoken to in such a way, shifted her attention from Morgana to Merlin "You're nothing but a simple serving boy, you don't tell me what to do."

"If you want to know what poison it is, you will undo the magic that drives the knights." His voice loud and filled with determination.

"Tell me which poison it is, or you'll die!" Her voice filled with rage at his blackmail.

"Then she'll die with me." Merlin's voice quietened.

Morgause accepted defeat and turned to look at her sister. Tears in her eyes, she placed her head to Morgana's and then pulled away. Merlin who watched this gesture stated, "I don't want this any more than you but you give me no choice, stop the knights and you can save her".

Her face took on an expression of intense focus as she began chanting her spell ." Astyre us thanonweard! Cnihtas Medhires, eower sawlas sind min sawlas. Rid eft ond forsleah eft!" Merlin looked on, watching Morgause complete her spell. As she finished, she looked expectantly at Merlin, her eyes still held back tears and she looked sad. Merlin bent down to give her the bottle, a hint of a thank you in his facial features. He revealed the bottle to Morgause as Hemlock. She read the bottle and suddenly her eyes bore into Merlin's as she took the bottle, unforgiving, not forgetting and promising revenge.

Just as Morgause had the Hemlock safely in her clenched hand, Arthur burst into the room with some knights, his hand brandishing a sword. Morgause's face snapped to him as Arthur pointed the sword at her.

"What have you done with my father?" He ordered at her.

"He's safe" Merlin intercepted.

Arthur tore his attention away from Morgause to see his father trying to sit upright behind the throne, rubbing a hand on his forehead. Once Arthur saw that Uther was fine, he returned his gaze to Morgause and a limp Morgana, Morgause had returned to looking at Morgana.

"Morgana?" Arthur half yelled, his sword still poised to attack if she would come to any harm.

Morgause turned around, her finger pointing at him, keeping him back. "Keep away from her!"

Arthur remained where he was, his face agitated and Merlin shared his look. Morgause turned around to Morgana again. Her face again turned into one of concentration as she chanted a spell. " _Bedyrne us! Astyre us thanonweard!_ " Her eyes flashed gold, her hair swept behind her, a mass of wind lifting upwards, Morgana and Morgause at its centre.

Arthur, Merlin and Uther - who had gotten to standing upright - looked on with terror as the girls were swept up. Uther made a attempt at running to Morgana before realizing it was futile.

Morgana was gone. Leaving Merlin, to ponder on what he had done.  

* * *

 

**ONE YEAR LATER - A SEARCH PARTY FROM CAMELOT INCLUDING ARTHUR PENDRAGON ON THE LOOKOUT FOR MORGANA LE FAY BY THE ORDERS OF UTHER PENDRAGON.**

The clashing of swords rang throughout the forest clearing, groans as knights and bandits duelled and the thuds of bodies merging with the soil, blood spilling from various vital organs. Arthur was occupied with a particularly ferocious bandit who handled the sword like it was an extension to his arm. If he had used his talents to justice and been of noble blood, Arthur would have recommended him to his father. Good natural swordsmen were hard to come by.

As the knights of Camelot looked at the band of bandits they had slaughtered in the forest clearing. They heard a noise from beyond the fog, the knights instantly became alert, Arthur's face becoming stone cold as he watched the silhouette of the oncoming figure, his sword at the ready, other knights followed his stance. Merlin proceeded to watch with them, his blue eyes squinting to see better thought the fog. Arthur raised a hand to signal the guards to halt and quieten as he shuffled closer to the figure.

They could see, it was someone with long hair and rags, and the person clearly wasn't stable, their body stumbling left and right like a drunk who was walking home from the tavern. As the figure came closer they could see it was a female, wearing a black dress, her hair raven black and messy. Her face was pale and you could see the dirt clearly on it, she obviously hadn't bathed in days if the smell was anything to go by. Her eyes were wide with fear, like a yellowed grassy plain. Her eyes spoke of the pain and the terror she had been through, she didn't seem to be clearly processing what she saw. She looked as if in a daze.

She halted as she saw the familiar crest of the Camelot knights. Her eyes still seemed to look like they were seeing but not processing what the thing was, as she still continued moving, slower. Arthur lowered his hand, surprised at seeing her after so long.

"Morgana." Arthur exclaimed.

 As if in shock of seeing a familiar voice she hadn't heard in a long time. Morgana blinked once and her eyes seemed to be more clearer, like she understood what was around her and felt relieved and taken aback at what she had hoped she would find. And finally had. Morgana stared at him for a long time, her eyes blinking rapidly like she thought he would disappear. Her eyes wandered slowly to the brightly clad knights of Camelot. Who seemed to be stood in place, surprised that after everyone was giving up hope that Morgana would ever be found, or even be alive that she was back. And in relatively good condition. She seemed a little unkempt but no sign that anyone had hurt her as far as the lack of bloodstains on her clothing could tell them. She didn't even seem to have lost weight. No one thought it was at the slightest bit suspicious, that she seemed to be perfectly fine apart from her lack of a bath and a comb. They had let their guard down to the fact that the King's beloved ward, cherished by all for her kindness had come back to them. Everyone except Merlin, who had jumped to Arthur's side as soon as he heard noise coming from beyond the mist.

Her eyes processed her surroundings, looking at the various tents that bore no crest of Camelot and the scattered bodies of bandits. She looked to the bloodied swords of the knights and seemed to put two and two together. She lifted her head and saw a figure that seemed to be Arthur's shadow, only the brown jacket and red scarf betrayed him, his rags just like when she last saw him. When she saw his eyes she realised he was staring at her with an anxiousness that would make her laugh. His blue eyes penetrated her green ones, seeming to search for any signs that she would give his secret away. Morgana could always wear a mask well and Merlin knew that so he soon gave up. This gesture lasted five seconds.

Those five seconds where everything seemed hopeful and calm, were short lived and everything was going to change.

For better or for worse, no one knew.

What they did know was that the series of events that would alter the course of destiny started in the woods surrounding Camelot, which was named as Aage Hollow and that the thing that set these events in motion was a blood-curdling panicky....

Scream.


	3. Chapter Two - Messages, Warning, Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin watches from the ground where Arthur left him. He can't trust her.

**Messages, Warnings, Lies**

_Stop asking me to trust you while I’m still coughing up water from the last time you left me to drown – Unknown_

**Traumatise: To mentally or emotionally be unstable **

Morgana had stumbled backwards, tripping on a log doing so and falling onto the ground, still shuffling away from Merlin, she was gasping unevenly and she pointed to him with shaking hands, the scream grew in sound, rising to an inhuman screech. It took the knights a long time to comprehend what was happening, trying to get over their initial shock that the King’s Ward was back. The knights came out of their trance, rushing to her aid, Sir Leon was the first to make it to her. Placing a comforting grip on her shoulder, while the rest of the knights caught up to him. Some even thought it was necessary to place their swords on the ground and then rush up to Morgana, thinking it was the harmful weapons that were traumatising her.

“My Lady” Sir Leon spoke in a loud voice to be heard but he seemed gentle. “My Lady, please calm down” His concern washed over the other knights who more or less repeated the same thing to her.

Others were murmuring in the back worriedly, you could hear them bicker amongst themselves.

“What on earth is wrong with her?”

“Do you think she’s been driven insane?”

“No! Course not! She’s scared, women are frail, we should expect such things.”

“The Lady has always been strong, she beat poor Samuel in a duel remember?”

“Yeah, we lost most of our gold on that, bet-”

“She’s been enchanted, obvious really. She was with Morgause after all.”

Arthur had stood on, watching the whole scene play out, his mind had become preoccupied with other things. Morgana’s eyes had found Merlin, now she was a screaming mess. What the hell did that imply? Merlin surely wasn’t involved, Morgause had taken her away, but Merlin was there with them. No. Merlin had found Morgana and was negotiating with Morgause. That was it, right? Besides, Morgana was away for a year, Merlin was in Camelot the whole year.

One reasonable explanation then. Morgana wasn’t screaming at Merlin directly, she was screaming because Merlin had the facial features of someone, an attacker, a sorcerer or a bandit, whatever. Whoever it was had evicted great fear in Morgana.

As Arthur came to this conclusion, he pushed Merlin to the floor who landed with a thud. His manservant was obviously confused, as he looked up at him with befuddled blue eyes. Merlin was trying to get to his feet, when a finger kept him in his place. His blue eyes zoned in on the finger before fixing Arthur with a confused look.

“Arthur wha-” Merlin was cut off.

“Stay down. You obviously-” Arthur began his explanation but he was interrupted.

“Whatever you’re implying, I did not harm Morgana” Merlin stammered on, he began breathing rapidly. Did it show that much that he’d done wrong by Morgana?

“No you _idiot_.” Arthur sounded exasperated, rolling his eyes. “She’s terrified. And she’s been through a lot. She might think you’re an enemy she’s scared of in her time away.”

Merlin was relieved that Arthur wasn’t accusing him of hurting the Lady Morgana but as glad as he was for the reason Arthur had come up with, it didn’t mean it was true. “So you think she thinks I’m the enemy?”

“Yes _Mer-lin_ ” Arthur emphasised his name to get across that he thought Merlin was stupid. “Now shut up and don’t you even think about moving.”

With that he was rushing towards Morgana. Sir Leon and the other Knights had managed to calm her down enough to sit her down.Her scream had subsided and it was replaced with violent shuddering and ragged breaths as her eyes darted back and forth to her surroundings. A Knight’s cape was strewn across her shoulders, acting as a blanket to protect her from the harsh winds that were expected in this time of year. When Arthur jogged up to meet her, a knight with brown hair and green eyes stood up from the log, he placed a comforting shoulder on Morgana and nodded to Arthur.

“Please, Sit Sire” the man said.

“Thank you Audric” Arthur acknowledged. He nodded over to the centre of the bandit camp where a few sticks were strewn about. “Tell the knights to set up camp here, Morgana will probably need her strength back.”

Audric nodded curtly and looked at Merlin. “What about him?”

“Him? We’ll probably leave him to rot on the ground for a bit. He called me a Dollop-head after all.” Arthur joked sarcastically with a smile.

Audric ran to a few knights that were huddled in a group while Arthur turned his attention to Morgana, there were fewer guards, Sir Leon was by Morgana’s side. He looked up at Arthur and quickly got up to leave as well, thinking they needed privacy. As he made to leave, he leaned in close to Arthur.

“She needs to get back to Camelot, she’s speaking nonsense” He left them alone, Arthur pondered on what he had said, before he placed a hand on Morgana’s arm in an affectionate gesture. Similar to what she did when they were kids and Arthur had been lectured by his father about the responsibilities of being a child. Or if he got scared when his father was sentencing someone to death.

“Morgana” Arthur said gently, testing the water.

Morgana whipped her head round to stare at him. That was when Arthur got a clear idea of how exhausted she was. Leon was right. She needed to go home to Camelot, to a warm comfortable bed. Her eyes were a manic green, her pupils danced around her eyes, like she didn’t quite know what to focus on, she seemed like she was someplace else. Strangely she didn’t look like she had gone through sleep deprivation. There were no bags under her eyes. Maybe whoever had kept her wanted her healthy and alive. She was however ridiculously pale, a passer-by wouldn’t have noticed, she was always pale. But there were certain features that were lost when she was pale and Arthur had known them well because of the fact they grew up together. Illnesses and that sort of thing. Her cheeks lost the pink tinge she normally had, her lips were less red and she seemed almost purple near the edges of her face.

“Is…Uth…U…n…Came…Gbac….Morga…nd…erl…ot….ood” Morgana stuttered, she clung to Arthur, her eyes scanning the surroundings like she was searching frantically for someone. Arthur opened his mouth to speak but was immediately cut off again

“I….dfee….afe….one….impris…im” She said.

“Morgana…please…MORGANA!” Arthur yelled trying to get her attention, she spared him a look before snatching his sword and stumbling to her feet. She walked in a drunk manner forwards.

“ust….in…mlin” she muttered. When everyone began crowding around her. She yelled more loudly and desperately.

“UST…IN…MLIN!!” She thrashed the sword in front of her blindly.

Audric appeared next to Arthur. “Everything alright, sire?” He asked like he already knew but wanted orders.

“Yeah…yeah” Arthur scratched his head, he didn’t like what he was going to say next but it had to be done.

“Sire?”

“Knock her out.”

* * *

 

“What the hell happened?” Merlin asked as they rode back to Camelot, Arthur had insisted that Morgana have her own horse. Now Morgana’s horse trotted alongside Merlin’s horse and he was responsible for the reins seeing as – in Arthurs opinion – Merlin didn’t have a lot of things to carry and he ‘had to stop being a weakling and start being useful’ in Arthur’s words.

Morgana was sprawled across her horse, not very comfortable but it was all they could do. Arthur had many time, turned around, looked at her, burst into laughter and made a joke about how funny she looked. Merlin thought it was more to hide the fact that he was worried for her.

“She grabbed my sword and started slashing it around in front of her, it was dangerous.” Arthur explained.

“I know that, I was there, I saw it…sort of, hard to get a view from the ground.” Merlin fixed Arthur a look, purposely rubbing the dried mud on his face for effect. “What I mean is…. Why on earth did you have to hit her around the head…really, really hard.”

“You can’t trust that one.” Arthur laughed, reminiscing about how Morgana had faked to be dead when they were kids so that Arthur would get into trouble and she could watch cry like a girl.

As the knights caught sight of Camelot in the distance, its grey walls a welcome sight the Knights started whooping. Merlin had no idea why, they never normally did. Maybe it was the fact that they had brought home someone they spent endless months and weeks to get to. Fine Knights were lost in the search and now she was back. Merlin couldn’t help but agree that the Knights had something to be happy for.

As they trotted towards the nearing kingdom, Merlin couldn’t help but think about what Arthur had said. Of course he had meant it as a joke. Morgana and he were old friends, and nothing lead him to believe she could well be a traitor but there was a double meaning.

Morgana had a spell on her, a spell that could well have been the doom of Camelot if he hadn’t put a stop to it. Whatever the cost.

The cost was great because Merlin could help but have this tiny aching feeling in the pit of his heart that was manifesting by the second that the day he had poisoned her, might have been the worst day of his life. Things could only get worse from here. Morgana was up to something, and he felt that it would end in the most horrific way possible. The only way was down and he had to hang on for the ride.

So one thought occurred as he looked at Morgana.

_Damn right you can’t trust her_.

* * *

 

Morgana didn’t even have time to react when the blow hit her in the head, she had already been about to chant a spell she had learnt from her time spent outside of the confines of Camelot. It must have been a hilt of a sword that knocked her unconscious. She considered yelling foul words to Arthur after she woke up but she just didn’t have the energy. She had to walk for miles, she knew the way of course, knew that a patrol were in her direction but it wasn’t any less tiring.

The ground rushed up to meet her and black spots slowly started to cloud her vision. The crunch of twigs snapping as her face and body landed on top of them resonated to her ears. She heard gasps and a muffled “I hadn’t meant to hit her so hard, Sire”. So it wasn’t the spoilt brat that had hit her, how….unfortunate.

As her senses were lost, she just about made out brown tatty leather boots in front of her and a bit of shuffling to reveal blue eyes staring at her in panic. She saw the red neckerchief and the brown leather jacket.

So. Close.

“Morgana” He whispered in acknowledgment.

She wanted to smile but she felt herself being pulled into the darkness.

 

 


	4. Chapter Three - The Trusting Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She tells him. She tells him the suffering and the terror she has felt about the day he poisoned her.  
> Arthur and Gwen are left to their own devices, conjuring up theories about why Morgana screamed.

* * *

**Chapter Three - The Trusting Game**

_Sometimes your memories can be your best dreams or your worst nightmares - Unknown_

**Distrust:** **the feeling that someone or something cannot be relied upon**

* * *

A figure approached Camelot, clad in silver armour and a red cape bearing the crest of Camelot The knights horse galloped across the path to Camelot and steadied to a trot when they got to the walls surrounding Camelot. The man took off his helmet and shook his hair as he done so, he looked down to the knight that was standing guard outside the castle walls.

"Alright mate" The guard said as he nodded to two other knights, signalling them to open the gates to the kingdom. "Where's the rest of them?" The guard meant the rest of the knights that were patrolling the woods on the hunt for the Lady Morgana.

"I left them in Aage Hollow, they'll be here at mid-day, I was sent to give a message to the King" The knight on the horse replied, his breath coming out ragged from travelling at such a fast pace.

"Oh right, what was that then Eustace?" The guard asked. He had a grave expression on his face, the guard obviously thought that the patrol had been killed again, his brother was in that patrol...

"Oh nothing of that matter, your brother is fine, last I saw him, he was laughing with the others." Eustace picked up on the young guards worry and rushed to reassure him "But I do need to see the King, rather urgently"

The guard visibly relaxed, and nodded, choosing not to push the knight for an answer, however curious he may be.

* * *

 

The doors to the throne room opened, the guards holding it out so that the knight, Eustace could get to the King who had looked up from his position at the front of the Council meeting.

"Sire-"

"I told the guards to not let anyone disrupt this meeting, it is severely important, the outlying villages are refusing to import their goods to Camelot, and pretty soon, we'll be starving." The king waved a hand to the guards, a demand that was not obeyed.

The King peered over to the guards who stood still near their position by the door, they both looked like they wanted to say something, their mouths opening and closing repeatedly.

"I said, escort this knight out."

"Sire!" Eustace yelled frustrated.

The various people assembled round the table looked up from the various papers that were scrawled across the table and stopped their continued discussions. Gaius did nothing, only kept a small smile from showing on his face - after all, it was rare to see the King publicly shouted at by people other than the young Prince - and resumed his attention to the map of Camelot in front of him.

Before Uther sent him to the cells, Eustace quickly set out to say the message he had been ordered to deliver. "It's about the Lady Morgana.", and as an after-thought, he wisely spoke again "Apologies, Sire" He nodded curtly.

The King was too shocked to formulate a response, thoughts clouding his brain of what the Knight had just said. A father's curse to be worried and relieved about hearing his daughters name in such a way. Gaius quickly stepped in, his eyes finding Uther's dazed ones for a split second before turning to the young Knight, "What about her?"

"We found her, she's alive."

* * *

 

Morgana was set on her bed by Arthur, a worried Gwen beside him. Merlin had backed away and was now leaning on a wall, a safe distance from Morgana's bed.

"Did you need to hit her?" Gwen scolded, her eyes still on Morgana.

"Yes we did, I told you _Guinevere"_ Arthur replied half-heartedly in mock endearment

"I'm sure there was no need to hit her so hard she'll lose her memory."

"Gwen, I did what I had to do to get her back to Camelot. Now If you'll excuse me, I'm going to sit by her bed until she wakes up."

"Why is that?" Gwen asked.

"Because I need to ask her some questions."

"Aaand?" Gwen teased.

"I missed her, I want to see her awake." Arthur gave in.

Merlin watched on, his heart thudding fast and loudly. Arthur would ask her questions, maybe Morgana would tell her brother that he poisoned her. He'd be dead-man walking if it escaped her lips and there was a good chance it would.

* * *

 

"So you're sure you didn't know where these bandits took you." Arthur repeated his question again.

"I'm sure, if I knew, I reckon I'd have been I Camelot a lot sooner, instead of wandering around like a lost dog." Morgana said.

"And your definitely sure it was bandits that attacked you?" Arthur couldn't help but notice how odd that was. Morgause had disappeared with her. Why had "bandits" attacked her in Camelot? Last time he checked, Morgause was _not_ a bandit.

Morgana flashed her eyes around worriedly, like as if someone was watching what she said. _Or acting like it_ Morgana thought wickedly.

"Anyone that looked like Merlin?" Arthur suggested.

"Why would you say that?" Morgana's tone was of panic.

"Just the whole...erm, crazy screaming and weird nonsense thing yesterday." Arthur rubbed the back of his neck, hoping she wouldn't shout at him for reminding her.

_So he picked up on that._

Morgana looked pleadingly at Gwen, who nodded silently. Gwen pressed a hand on Arthur's shoulder, causing Arthur to look at her hand surprisingly and then look at Gwen with a smile. Of adoration? Of love?

"Arthur, she's very tired and needs her rest." Gwen attempted, hinting at him to leave. Fixing Arthur with a stern look.

"Oh, of course. Of course." Arthur stood up. and then realised his close proximity to Gwen, and stuttered his goodbyes. "Just to let you know Morgana, I'm very glad you're back." He hugged her, and saw that Morgana was close to tears.

"Don't cry on me, it's very uncomfortable to think you care." Arthur stated jokingly

Morgana let out a slight laugh, full of happiness. "Sorry, I just realised how much you mean to me. I promise you can deal with the painful comments tomorrow."

Arthur nodded slightly. Gwen walked with him outside Morgana's chambers. Merlin was walking towards them.

"Hi, I was just delivering some medicine for Morgana." Merlin held up a vial and rushed into Morgana's chambers, omitting the part that Morgana had called him there. Gwen nodded as he walked past her. As the door slammed shut, Gwen looked at Arthur.

"How do you feel?" She asked.

"I don't know. Relieved, I guess." Arthur replied.

"But...?" Gwen urged him on.

"I don't know. I feel like someone went to a lot of trouble to keep her hidden for it to be bandits. And you should have seen her face when she saw Merlin."

"Arthur, what are you suggesting?" Gwen looked worried, worried about where this was going.

"No, not that." Arthur quickly reassured her. "It's just... what if someone didn't want Morgana to find out who they were, so used Merlin's face." He explained.

"It's unlikely, I mean, why Merlin? Why not you, or her Father, or her Mother, or Uther. It's unlikely they even knew who Merlin was."

"Good point."

"That doesn't rule out it could have been someone who looked like Merlin." Gwen stated.

"I thought about that too but it's impossible." Arthur said confidently.

"Why?"

"Because who on earth has ears as big as Merlin's?" Arthur quickly broke out of his serious tone.

"Arthur!" Gwen laughed as she hit him on the arm for his rudeness.

"What? You're laughing!"

"So it's funny because I'm laughing?"

"No, I'm simply pointing out you're laughing." _And my goodness what a laugh that is_! Arthur thought.

"Arthur! You can't say that about your friend" Gwen quickly cut in when she saw Arthur take in a breath. "And he is your friend, don't even deny it."

"He started it." Arthur grumbled like a five year old boy caught fighting with his sibling.

"Oh did he?" Gwen put her arms across her chest, not impressed and trying not to laugh at his babyish tone. Trying so very hard to look serious.

"He called me, and I quote" Arthur paused for dramatic effect. " _Dollop-head"_

* * *

 

Merlin shut the door behind him, Gwen and Arthur's voices quieting. He stuffed the vial in his pocket, knowing Morgana had not requested one. He scanned the room, looking for Morgana.

"Merlin." Morgana's voice is heard, she is sitting on her bed, refraining from looking at him.

Merlin takes a deep breath, ready to explain "Morgana"

"I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say to you, but I suppose, I can't really." Morgana cut him off. "I feel like you need to know a little about what you did."

Merlin kept silent, he didn't know what she would say to him. The agony she felt while it went down her throat? The hurt she felt when he nodded?

Morgana turned to look at him, green eyes meeting blue ones. "Nightmares"

"Nightmares?" Merlin repeated, confused.

* * *

 

 _I don't know where I am, it's just this dark abyss, like I'm in limbo. I don't know how long I've been there but the emptiness is making me go insane._ It feels like weeks, and I just sit there and scream and cry and think. I want to be out.

_"Morgana" Merlin is sitting next to me, he looks weird though. It's not a big difference, it's just that his eyes are different. Their a dark blue, like the bottomless pit of the sea. They look cold, cold as ice._

_He smiles at me but it looks like a smirk. He pulls out something from his pocket and I can't help feel a slight fear coursing through me and I don't even know why._

_"Here, you must be thirsty" He puts it in front of us, and I don't know why but I find myself analysing it. I take it somewhat hesitantly. I drink it, it's tastes normal. It feels different. _

_"Merlin this drink is a bit-" I turn to look at him but he is not there anymore._

_"Merlin?" I shout, suddenly scared I lost my only real company here._

_I here laughing and its warm and nice, Merlin is behind me and I look up at him, a smile on my face. But when I do, I feel a sharpness on my throat and it feels light. I bring my hand up to feel my throat and then to my line of vision so I can look at it._

_Blood. My throat has been cut._

_I am dying._

_Merlin's standing in front of me. He smirks evilly. He kisses my head gently, his lips still poised in a smirk._

_He's gone._

* * *

 

"I would never do that." Merlin says.

"Don't lie to me, you did as good as that." Her voice cracked at the end. _Make him feel guilt._

"I..I didn't want to."

"Merlin, you don't need to explain, I just hope you can trust me, I don't know what I did to you but please, trust me." Morgana pleaded.

Merlin nodded, he couldn't be too happy. She seemed to be avoiding the "I forgive you." or "I won't tell anyone." part of the conversation.

_Maybe she thinks she doesn't need to say it. It's obvious._

"It's good to have you back" Merlin said before he left. Morgana smiled at him warmly. It was gone when the door slammed shut.

* * *

 

"My lady?" Gwen asked as she opened the door to Morgana's chambers.

"Hmm?"

"The King has asked if you would like to meet him in the Great Hall." Gwen asked as she set about making the bed and clearing the table of Morgan's lunch.

 _No_. Morgana thought coldly.

"If you are tired, it's quite alright, the King would understand, surely." Gwen waded in, concerned for her wellbeing.

"No, I would like to see him."

"We better get you cleaned up then." Gwen smiled.

* * *

 

 _Into battle,_ She thought.

Morgana pasted a smile on her face, she fixed her dress and walked into the Great Hall.

 

 

 

 

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, tell me what you think of the chapters and be aware that I'm also going to put up another fanfiction that I'm writing, called "Merry as the waves till we aint"
> 
> PLEASE REVIEW!


	5. Chapter Four - Safe untill you're not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana must paste a smile on her face as she meets Uther, waiting and watching for the right opportunity, the right moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the story even though its half of what it normally is. 1000 and something words rather than the 2000 I normally write but (I've always hated this quote) Quality over Quantity? Right? Right?

**Chapter Four**

**Safe until you're not**

_He who permits himself to lie once, finds it easier to do it a second time - Thomas Jefferson_

*******

**Deceit:** **the action or practice of deceiving someone by concealing or misrepresenting the truth**

* * *

 

"Leave us." Uther commanded abruptly. The knights assembled around the King, turned to the door, seeing Morgana making her way over to the King. They bowed and walked away. Morgana walking past them with a cold expression.

Uther stood up from his throne and watched her, his face showing nothing but awe, joy and relief. He hastily ran to her. Suddenly Morgana's face shifted to that of joy and she ran up to him.

They embraced. Morgana smiled lovingly up at Uther, dabbing his eyes with a handkerchief, stopping the tears rolling down his wrinkled face. They shared a laugh together, a laugh full of happiness.

Uther peered round, "You should sit." He turned in the direction of Morgana's reserved seat, left of Uther.

"No, no, no." Morgana objected softly "That's all I've done for the past year. Sit. And pray that you hadn't given up on me."

"Never." Uther whispered

"I don't know why. I wouldn't blame you. You've done more for me than any guardian. You've always cared for me, loved me like I was your own daughter. And yet I've insulted you, defied you, hurt you. I don't know why you put up with me. But I promise, in the future I will show you the love and respect that you deserve."

Morgana looked past his shoulder, then back to him, smiling. "I will leave you to your council".

She turned the way she came, her smile slowly melting into a cold smirk, evil and cunning.

* * *

 

Merlin had Arthur's laundry piled on his hand, various shirts, trousers, cloaks and jackets strewn across arm making it so that it was invisible. He was in a rush, after what Morgana had said, he hadn't gotten much work done. His brain occupied by distrust or happiness or confusion about her or her dreams. Besides, he wanted to get the muck out of his hair and shirt that Arthur had so kindly ruined. He walked past the great hall, just in time to hear it open. He could vaguely see a flash of black hair and curls before he had turned a corner and was down the stairs, nearing laundry room.

* * *

 

The opportunity had just presented itself.

Uther was near her, almost certainly watching her leave the Hall. And Merlin, well he had just walked past. What better chance was this?

* * *

 

Morgana gasped, her head whipping round to look at Uther, who was now watching her curiously. She made her eyes dart around her and take deep breaths, to anyone else, it would like she was in terror.

"What is it?" Uther asked worriedly, his eyes searching the corridor outside the Great Hall warily.

"I...It's nothing."

"No, speak child, something is obviously the matter." He said gently. Uther's mind was racing. Gaius had told her she would suffer from the effects of her capture and he was aware of that, accepted it even. At the time, he had just wanted his daughter back. But if anything terrified her like it was doing so now, he'd rush to change it. Make her feel safer in her rightful home. What had happened?

"No..no really, it's nothing of importance." Morgana was blinking furiously, she even forced tears down her eyes and made herself look like she was peering across the corridor in the direction Merlin went.

"Morgana." Uther sighed, a hint of agitation seeping into his words. "You know, you can trust me."

Morgana wanted to laugh venomously at him. _He actually believes I can trust him, fool._ She only looked indecisive and confused, opening and closing her mouth so that it would look like she wanted to say something but she couldn't.

Her behaviour worried Uther, he walked towards her and wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug. Morgana hugged back, tense and forced. He pulled out of the embrace but kept to hands on her upper arms. He forced her chin up to look at him and smiled.

"Please, Morgana. Tell me what troubles you?" He asked gently.

"Merlin."

* * *

 

"Sometimes I don't know why I don't do half the things he does to me." Merlin stated.

Gwen chuckled, she handed Morgana's dresses over to the Castle washers. She had been there a while, after a year of no-one wearing Morgana's dresses, they had dirtied and it would not be proper for a Lady to look scruffy. She had since been talking to Merlin who had been there just as long with Arthur's clothes. Who, although he hadn't been away for one year, still kept most of his clothes dirty and they required a long time to be properly clean.

"Seriously, Gwen. He's right next to me, eating his food. I could literally stand up and dump the filthy water over his head _and_ food _and_ clothes." Merlin said seriously, contemplating the look on Arthur's face as it contorted from one of normality to sheer shock as water spilled over his head.

"Are you asking for a month in the stocks?" Gwen joked with him.

"No, it'd more likely be an hour, poor prat wouldn't be able to live without me. He can't change his clothes. It's actually quite sad."

"Sad or not, would you like the smell of rotten vegetables being stuck to you?"

"It'd better than filthy water, even his sweaty clothes are worse than a day in the stocks."

"That I'm sure of." Idla sighed. The woman was in her forties and had a respectable house near Gwen's. She had brown hair that hadn't been brushed in ages which she kept in a bun. She had been a washwoman since she was twenty and had always made a complaint about Arthur's clothes when Merlin brought them there.

"Come on, it can't be that bad" Gwen defended Arthur. She suddenly found Idla picking up the bucket of Arthurs clothes and shoving it near her face. Gwen coughed at the smell and turned her back to it, her nose scrunching up in disgust. She turned round to face Idla and Merlin with a calm and collected face.

"See, not that bad."

Idla disapproved and threw her one of Arthurs trousers and it landed on her face. Gwen yelped and threw it off, while Merlin and Idla laughed.

"Well then, dear Gwen. Why don't you do my job for me if its _not that bad?"_

"No!"

* * *

 

"He tried to kill me, he tried to poison me." Morgana spoke, her eyes filling with tears.

"Explain."

" I saw Merlin with Morgause, they were talking together. I saw him praising Morgause on her success about raising the Knights of Idirsholas. She also praised him, she said he did a good job of keeping everyone asleep. She told him that whenever he was alone, he was to kill you and then he could have magic back in the kingdom. I was shocked so I gasped. They heard me and I saw Merlin's eyes go gold and I was unconscious. I woke up in the forest. Morgause was muttering because Merlin had made a tornado to kill me but it ended up transporting me and Morgause outside Camelot. She ran away when she heard a noise and the noise turned out to be bandits and they captured me." Morgana lied effortlessly, making lies up on the spot without a hesitation.

Uther was fuming, a mere serving boy who he had made Arthurs man servant defying every rule Camelot had so that he could find a mean to his own selfish ends!

Morgana smirked slightly. Her eyes glowing mischievously.

_Goodbye Merlin._

* * *

 

Merlin had finished mucking out the stables and had accompanied Arthur to the outlying villages to check on the grains being produced there. He was tired and hungry.

"Arthur is just doing his duty as Prince. Just as you are doing your duty to Albion. I doubt the horse needs blaming for being _uncomfortable_ and _stinky_ " Gaius scolded impatiently. He had nor the time or energy to meddle with a young boys petty problems.

"Eat your soup." Gaius sat down in front of Merlin "I don't think my ears can handle the nonsense that comes out of your mouth sometimes."

"Well your normally indoors, not on a horse, or having to deal with Arthur. While I'm slaving away at the most stubborn pig in the-"

The door slammed upon causing Merlin to drop his spoon and get up. Half a dozen guard filled the small room, some were carrying cross bows all pointing at Merlin. A guard came up behind him and roughly tied his hands together.

"What's going on?" Gaius asked loudly, watching Merlin get tied up.

"We have reason to suspect Merlin of attempted murder, treason and possession of Magic."

"That's outragous." Gaius yelled.

"You think our King is lying?" A guard replied.

"No, I'm merely asking why you think that Merlin has done anything like what you are pointing out."

"The fact is, Merlin has been found guilty, a witness has spoken and he is to be taken to the Dungeons. He will be there until first light."

"Is that when Merlin will stand up in court?" Gaius asked.

"No it is not." The guard answered.

"Merlin will be burnt on the stake."

 

**  
**

 


End file.
